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Nirvana Now!                  Choosing Inner Peace For You
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BOOK SUMMARY

Living a happy life following incest and child sexual abuse
is often elusive to many survivors and a daunting task for
those who seek a happy and productive life.  

Some survivors seek counseling but stop because they’re
don’t believe they’re improving.

Counselors become frustrated because clients are not
progressing.

Family and partners have no idea how to help.

This book will assist survivors, partners, family members
and professionals understand a new approach to obtaining
happiness following incest and child sexual abuse.  By
utilizing “The Acceptances”, The “The Promises And
Permissions”, and invoking “Trigger Busters” survivors
will journey to happiness with greater ease and
understanding.
BOOK INTRODUCTION

“There IS Happiness After Incest and Child Sexual Abuse.” This statement is my message to all
survivors I meet. For most people who read this statement, however, I know there is immediate doubt.  
There is immediately doubt, because too often virtually every book you pick up regarding surviving
incest and child sexual abuse does not directly address this particular issue. And when you consider
the survivors I have spoken to who have been in individual therapy for years, the number of
nonbelievers is even greater, I’m sure. But yet this is the question that every incest and child sexual
abuse survivor asks in one way or another. Usually the direct question is, “Will this pain ever go
away?”  The unspoken question is:   “Will I every be happy?”  

This book is about YOU having an opportunity to find the happiness you deserve in your life because
it IS possible to be happy following being a victim of incest and child sexual abuse!  I know what I am
saying firsthand because I am writing this book as a black woman who was sexually abused by my
stepfather, a teenage female cousin, and a friend of the family. In addition, sexual abuse even occurred
in my intimate relationships as an adult. Moreover, I obtained a master’s degree in counseling, so I was
able to learn objectively that so many of my self defeating thoughts and actions were directly related to
my sexual abuse experiences. As a result, I too struggled with the question, “Will I ever be happy?” A
“Yes” response eluded me for years, even after multiple therapists, support groups, books, magazines,
journals, conversations and tears shed with other survivors, etc.  I now know happiness eluded me for
so many years because I did not know how to find it. For over thirty years I was caught up in the pain
associated with having been sexually abused as a child. I was caught up in my confused thinking and
in my resulting actions for too many years.  I really thought the happiness would somehow present
itself to me as soon as I finished reading a particular book, or, as soon as I finished a therapy session,
or as soon as I finished my college degree, or got married, or had children, or as soon as I got my big
break. Well, all of those things happened in my life, and I was still unhappy.  Survivors like to think
that if we just work hard enough, strive hard enough, accomplish enough on the outside, then
happiness will come. Other survivors don’t have the energy to do all of the above, so they choose self-
destructive means, still hoping that one-day happiness will arrive.   

Eventually all of us realize happiness will not just arrive on its own. Once a survivor realizes all of her
efforts were for naught, that’s when the question, “Will I ever be happy?” returns. That’s also the time
when survivors realize we don’t know how to get the happiness we deserve and desperately desire.

The purpose of this book is to share with you what I truly believe is the essence of what survivors
need to understand and do in order to expedite obtainment of happiness in their lives. The contents of
this book are the result of countless interviews with incest and child sexual abuse survivors, personal
research, having developed and facilitated incest and child sexual abuse survivor support groups, work
as a life coach for survivors, and my personal experiences as a survivor. I believe if survivors
understand exactly what I have outlined, they will find the happiness they truly deserve. This book is
for male and female survivors alike. You will notice, however, that most of my references are related to
women. This is because for most of my career I have worked directly with women and not as often
with men. I have learned, however, that male survivors share many of the same issues as women.
Additionally, men have another challenge to their recovery that women do not.  Specifically, men have
to combat the whole notion of a challenged masculinity when they have been sexually abused. I don’t
want my male readers to be turned off by my female references because the information in this book
will help you also.

I have divided the book in three sections:  The Acceptances, So What’s A Trigger? and The Promises
and Permissions. I have written the book so you can start anywhere you want. Just go to a particular
section of interest, and you will find the information you are looking for.  I tried to write the book in a
simple format for ease in reading and interpretation, which is why you won’t find, footnotes and
references throughout.  I have included, however, a detailed bibliography and resource list at the end
of the book for you to use as you continue your journey to happiness.

Always remember, “There IS Happiness After Incest and Child Sexual Abuse.”
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